Thanks again for popping by for another edition of The Rogue Report. I’m Cody, and this this week I’m looking to explore the flavor of magic as well as provide a deck list and brief explanation. I was inspired this week by the card Protean Hulk. Not only is this card a horribly powerful combo enabler, it’s got some of magic’s best flavor text! “Meat and eggs, We eat!” – Borborygmos.
Okay, so maybe it’s not really that funny…
Anyhow, one of my favorite things about magic is that there is such an immense story line behind it. I’ve always been into just playing the game but since I learned a little bit about the lore (having started in Theros block personally) some of the bits of flavor fill in and are quite funny. I’ve decided that I’m going to countdown my top 5 favorite Modern card’s flavor texts and as a tribute to Protean Hulk as my inspiration this week, I’ll be discussing the Modern Hulk Footsteps deck.
5. Lightmine Field
The Goblin tribe has always been a personal favorite of mine so this one hurts a little. Unfortunately the flavor text probably speaks the truth… they didn’t stand a chance…
“If you want to kill a lot of goblins, just make sure your defenses look like fun.”
Even though Lightmine Field set the Goblin tribe back a little back, I think this is quite fun.
“Don’t underestimate the aerodynamic qualities of the common goblin.”
But seriously… sometimes there’s nothing more fulfilling than throwing a 1/1 goblin for 5’sies. Goblins are fun to play in every format and can usually steal a respectable amount of wins.
This one is just straight up ridiculous. I love it. It seems to spell out Niv Mizzet in “1337-speak” when tapped a full 90 degrees. I’m definitely a fan of the playful effort that went into this one.
“(Z->)⁹⁰° – (E-N²W)⁹⁰°t = 1”
Ah, darksteel. Indestructible, dependable darksteel. There’s Darksteel Citadel, Darksteel Colossus, Darksteel Forge, Darksteel Garrison, the list goes on and on. I probably thought this was more funny than most at first when I saw it.
“Looks like that wasn’t darksteel after all.” – Koth of the Hammer
I don’t know what it is about this flavor text but every time I see it I chuckle a little. It’s got a little bit of spice to it and will always hold a little place in my heart.
“Well, at least all of that arm-waving and arcane babbling you did was impressive.”
What are some of your favorite cards with good flavor text? Comment below!
We’re keeping things a little shorter than usual this week as I will be conserving energy to play in a midnight pre-release for Rivals of Ixalan, as well as events the following day. However, I still wanted to pay tribute to Protean Hulk with a modern list I took interest in a little while ago. There are many neat little combos you can do with Protean Hulk, but I specifically tried out a list that Zac Elsik was playing.
Let’s take a look and see exactly what “Hulk Footsteps” is comprised of:
4x Protean Hulk
1x Mogg Fanatic
3x Viscera Seer
2x Body Double
3x Simian Spirit Guide
4x Serum Visions
4x Faithless Looting
2x Sleight of Hand
3x Taigam’s Scheming
4x Footsteps of the Goryo
1x Lightning Axe
3x Izzet Charm
3x Pact of Negation
2x Makeshift Mannequin
4x Scalding Tarn
4x Polluted Delta
2x Steam Vents
2x Watery Grave
1x Blood Crypt
3x Gemstone Mine
3x Leyline of Sanctity
1 Echoing Truth
1x Thopter Engineer
3x Swan Song
1x Murderous Cut
1x Steel Sabotage
2x Pithing Needle
The idea of the combo in this deck is to play Faithless Looting, Taigam’s Scheming, Izzet Charm or Lightning Axe to get a Protean Hulk in the graveyard. From here, use Footsteps of the Goryo or Makeshift Mannequin to re-animate said Hulk. The sacrifice clause on either card really helps us out, especially Makeshift Mannequin for dodging Path to Exile. As soon as Protean Hulk gets sacrificed, search your deck for Viscera Seer and Body Double. When Body Double enters play, have it copy the Protean Hulk in the graveyard. Sacrifice the Body Double (Protean Hulk) to Viscera Seer and search out Mogg Fanatic and Reveillark. Sacrifice Mogg Fanatic for 1 damage and then sacrifice Reveillark to return Body Double (copying Reveillark) and Mogg Fanatic. From here you can sacrifice Mogg Fanatic for another damage and Body Double (Reveillark) as a loop for infinite damage (spam the fanatic). Green eggs and…yeah nevermind. It seems like a lot of set-up, just trust me. You get there.
This combo is easily broken up by a bunch of common players in the modern format such as side-boarded graveyard hosers (ie. Grafdigger’s Cage, Rest in Peace) and Leyline of Sanctity (as Mogg Fanatic can now no longer target.) This is why the copy of Thopter Engineer is in the sideboard, which allows you to create X amount of hasty thopter tokens for the kill, dodging Leyline of Sanctity complications. Overall, I’d say it’s a semi-fragile, slightly inconsistent deck. I do think this deck has the potential to be a major player in modern’s future at some point, but right now isn’t all that competitive. There are minor and microscopic improvements that can be made over time such as shifting the sideboard to be more current, changing X copies of Taigam’s Scheming to X copies of Contingency Plan. There’s no reason not to as they are the exact same card. I’m not saying anyone is ever going to Slaughter Games, or Lost Legacy your Taigam’s Schemings but really, you never know. Also Steel Sabotage could probably be upgraded to Ceremonious Rejection.
If you’re looking to have fun at a weekly Modern event or have a tournament in a semi-competitive environment I would recommend this deck. The combo is slightly difficult to get used to and it is a surprisingly resilient deck. Hulk Footsteps is oodles of fun and challenging, so let me know how it goes!
If you have any suggestions for a more current version of the deck, comment below! I have a feeling I’ll be returning to this one sooner than later.
Good luck to anyone who is braving their midnight pre-releases, and as a friend of mine Shawn told me,
“May you rip 4 Ravenous Chupacabras”, friends!
As always, comments, constructive criticism and suggestions for future material are always welcome!
Thanks again for dropping by, and I’ll see you again soon here for;
The Rogue Report